Breaking the chain

Does thing suddenly stop as you grow older and more inform, the more you see the world for what it is?

The sense of belief you once were taught now vanished and you try to bring it back, only to realize that such dreams never existed?

That's how I felt when I was a teen. I still wrestle with the question every now and then, but no matter how try one really try to believe in my home religion, and I am growing tired honestly of it all. The mythical saints, the one true church to save us all, we must be disciple of Christ. All of them are not as virtuous as one may really think. I've learn of Saints that are not so nice especially the one my parents admire Saint Padre Pio who is a fan of Mussolini and a big fraudster who fabricate his way into Sainthood. I've learn the Catholic church is not that ancient and it has a schism with the Eastern Orthodox way back then, and even its founding is less legendary as they make it out to be. And lastly Christ teaching of cutting away your arm and eye if you sin? Sorry but that's not a good figure for me even if he has good things to say about the poor, and his teaching of peace. We can learn the good from the bad, but it does not make his religion of heaven and hell true which is what matter when it comes to discussion such as this. 

I cannot see anything out of Catholic church more than a successful business seller of fairy tales. And one that is deeply corrupt in greed and its priest deep in crimes that they keep hiding. It's a sad old institution past its prime. Its God have no hold anywhere in reality, if he did, maybe he should fix his shitty institution and the world while he is at it. But as reality would have it, it's the people and not their god that makes history go round.